Tag Archives: letters to Mistress
I promised to blog once a day this month, and damnit, I will not break my promise to you people. But since I am too drugged out and depressed to be entertaining, I will offer you this. A prized example of the male of the species doing the one handed typing while drunk. Usually I would do a detailed analysis of where the writer went wrong, but I think this letter speaks for it’s self. Nothing has been changed (despite the vocal begging from my spell check) except his name. And yes. He did sign it with a mix of capitals and lowercase. I thought that was a special touch that I should keep. I’m also hoping that maybe english wasn’t his first language. Because really. Our school systems suck these days, but surely they can produce better then this.
Email Subject: remove my balls by cutting off them if you are able to do this (I should add that you should probably NOT be drinking any liquids while reading this.)
I’m just going to assume it’s a full moon. Maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s just the fun Halloween spirits poking around early. Or maybe I’m just a cranky bitch because I have to get up every 15 minutes and pee. All. Night. Long. And a toddler that has decided not to nap. At all. Or maybe it’s the rapid fire crazy that is coming at me.
First, this arrived in my in box last night.
I AM A SUBMISSIVE WHITE MALE 6’3″ 200LBS. I AM NOT INTO PAIN OR MARKS. I LIKE TO BE BOUND AND MOUNTED, BAREBACK BY TWO OR MORE MEN UNDER YOUR DIRECTION OR FISTED BY YOU OR UNDER YOUR DIRECTION. I CAN BE REACHED AT XXX-XXX-XXXX ANY WEEKDAY 2-5PM PLEASE CALL…….*HULK
Bareback. Yup. By two or more men. Because he’s too chicken to just go out and kill himself, he would rather have it done to him. He’ll be the one who pulls a gun on the cops at the mall to make them take him out.
Found this oldie, but goodie in my Special Place. Yes. That’s correct. I have a WHOLE file full of these fabulous gems. I’ll post them once in a while for all to enjoy.
I am into cannibal role play, I have read a lot of cartoons and I would love to mee a Mistress who fancies ‘ seducing’ me for dinner, tieing me up, oiling me , shoving an apple in my mouth, tenderising my meat and slow roasting me like a suckling pig, would you be able to slow roast me for dinner ?
Short. Succinct. To the point. Unfortunately, I think he was more into looking at the comics and writing the emails then actually role-playing this in the dungeon because I never heard back from him once I said I was interested.
If you are interested in learning more about cannibal role-play, even from a spectators stand point, check out Muki’s Kitchen. It’s not something I’m into personally, but I find the idea that someone is, RIGHT THIS MINUTE, masturbating to pictures like the one in this post fascinating.
I know, dear readers, both of you even, that listening to me lament about wanting another bebeh, and write over and over about the joys of OMG I Finally got some sleep (and? Totally laid, ok, I didn’t write about that, but really, there wasn’t much to write because I was so excited it lasted about 4 nanoseconds. Totally didn’t know girls could prematurely, you know, but, apparently, um… well after not getting any ((WHILE AWAKE)) um, well, yeah, at least I can. Um… anyway… lets try this post again.
Good morning lil Cow Girls! I am here all hopped up on sleep and caffeine and good loving and thought I would post something a little more fun then the usual “Oh, I wanna another BeBeh cause this one isn’t making me crazy enough.” So, thats right. More letters to Mistress from men who can only type with one hand.
I thought I would grab a couple of the shorter, more hilarious ones today. You know. In honor of my own premature … oh … never mind.
I get some weird email. Just bizarre. I would never share a real clients real information on here, but some of these emails are sent to every Mistress they can find an email address for. Repeatedly.
Occasionally one of these will turn out to be a real person with an odd request, or unsure of the etiquette for contacting a Mistress, but usually, it’s just someone with one hand on the keyboard.
Take this for example:
i’ve been fantasizing of serving and submitting to your beauty for years…
when i was a little boy i used to be humiliated. I used to be spanked by my mother and growing up i was humiliated. In first grade i was caught in my underwear in front of my entire class. At first i cried, but then i grew to like it. In 10th grade i drank a football player’s piss…in 12th grade a girl tried to jerk me off, then told the entire grade i had a small dick and couldn’t get hard…