Tag Archives: I love him despite his family
This last month has been a bit of a whirlwind. And right in the middle of it, just like the Big One that hit Oz, I had to spend time with my MIL. I think we have agreed to just quietly dislike each other and talk about that fact behind each others back.
The day after they left, I actually found myself humming for the first time in … years? Probably since before the first miscarriage. Was it the fact that I finally got some sleep? Or that the Wellbutrin has kicked in? Or was it simply the fact that we had survived another yearly FOX news filled visit from the in-laws.
It was a lot like that first day after your period. The cramps are gone, the bleeding has subsided and you no longer feel like randomly murdering strangers for simply being cheerful.
I just don’t get people who don’t take care of themselves. I don’t mean those of us who need to eat less, or exercise more, or perhaps cut back on the yummy cocktails. I’m talking about people who are just plain self destructive. I think we were all a little self destructive when we are teens. We pushed limits and explore our surroundings and revel in the feeling of being indestructible. Most people grow out of that in their 20′s. A few not till their 30′s. And then there are a few people, like my MIL, age 68, who are still pretty sure they are indestructible.
My brain knows its a disease, but my heart hurts to watch her destroy herself.
The Big Fucking Negative was connected to the trip to Disney which wasn’t even unpacked when we left for Portland which has yet to be unpacked so I can once again pack my bags to head to BlogHer. And my in-laws arrive tomorrow for their yearly visit. They are sort of like a touring production of The Honeymooners. Except, with less love and affection.
Even though I gave them the dates I would be gone months ago, they still booked their trip right over my trip. How lucky could a girl be?! And I know you may be thinking to yourself, “Wow. I guess they really didn’t want to see her.” And to that I reply…
HOW LUCKY COULD A GIRL GET!?
They have invited me to cook them dinner before I leave. I’m thinking of cooking up my famous pasta with arsenic sauce.
So, who’s going to BlogHer? If you see me dozing in the corner – can you wake me? And when I look at you with my crazy confused eyes, just say “San Diego. You are in San Diego.”
In my line of work, I deal with requests for humiliation all the time. Erotic, verbal, physical, or psychological, such as racial, religious and occasionally financial. But even the most hard core submissive has limits – as well as hot buttons. Before we play, these are discussed at length. After 15 years, I know what questions to ask when people say they are into humiliation. Do they want to be talked down to because they don’t deserve to be in the presence of such a beautiful women as myself ;-}~ . Or yelled at for an imagined faux pas. Maybe they need to hear me laugh at their small penis, or their desire to lick the bottom of my shoes.
And who am I as I enact this humiliation? Am I their boss who has found porn on their company computer or panties in their desk drawer. Or a female supremacist with a new, untrained slave? Their mother? Their wife? Their high school sweetheart? Teacher? Nun?
Wow. So I kept hearing about them, but didn’t think I would be affected. But perhaps I had the whole thing wrong. You see, I though the post wedding blues were when the bride came home all married and returned to real life and no longer was the center of attention and no longer in the midst of spending more money on a party then they would ever spend in their lives and well… would get sorta depressed.
Yeah, I don’t have that.
Instead, I have 72 stitches in my mouth making it nearly impossible for me to talk. No heavy lifting and any exorcise makes my mouth throb. My house is a pile of half unpacked boxes and suitcases and my clients, for both businesses are calling and emailing because I’m late getting back on schedule. And I think my dog is threatening to move out if I don’t promise some more interesting walks to the park soon.
I would LOVE to get back to my pre-wedding life.