Tag Archives: boobies
We all know someone who has been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Young or old, rich or poor, droopy or pert. Breast cancer just doesn’t give a shit. A clients wife, a good friend and a famous actress were all diagnosed with breast cancer within one month a few years ago. Right now everyone in the kink scene is following Hollie Stevens as she battles first Breast cancer, now bone cancer, at the age of 30.
Posting the color of your bra or insinuating you are pregnant on Facebook does nothing to aid in awareness of breast cancer or raise money for research. It does however, make me raise my eyebrows in your general direction. Because seriously. Who has time to do all these stupid memes? Uhg. I hate you! Come clean my kitchen!
Becca of I’m Pretty Sure That, Bill of The Authentic Life, and Angie of Angie Uncovered are doing something that is actually raising awareness AND money for research, while also letting us all look at boobs.
Every where I turned this week, boobs seemed to be staring me in the face. Not my boobs of course. They were staring at my feet. But this post isn’t about my boobs, it about all the boobs in the news this week.
- International Breaking News Boobs: Russian Feminist Boobs Protest Vote Rigging. These are my kind of feminists!
- Trashy Airline Reading Boobs: Hacker Releases Lindsey Lohan’s Playboy Pictorial. Still unsure why anyone would want to see her boobs. What is she famous for anyway? UPDATED. THIS is why someone would want to see her boobs. Still don’t know why she’s famous.
- Religious Boobs: Salma Hayek proves god is real by praying for boobs. Seriously. I may actually start praying after this. Now taking applications from deities.
- Crazy Pants Boobs: ‘Long Island Lolita’ Amy Fisher looking for people to show her boobs to. I’m not sure where to begin on this one.
Last weekend was my sisters bachelorette party. Being the Matron Of Honor, I decided that rather then drunkenly lick whipped cream off the nipples of a strange man wearing nothing but a sock made up to look like a giant nose, I would give her and her friends a tour of my city.
It started Friday evening with a visit to my favorite Korean Spa to get the skin scrubbed off us, followed by sake and japanese food. And champagne cocktails back at the room. Then martinis in the hotel bar till they kicked us out, then back to the room to drink a thermos of cherry chocolate shots that were supposed to last us the entire weekend.
That was our quiet evening. Or at least that was the plan.
The next morning we were off to High Tea followed by shopping at some of my favorite stores – including, of course, my favorite sex toy store. Then back to the room to relax, drink more champagne cocktails and get ready for a night of visiting my favorite bars and bartenders.
I have always had big boobs. Being a sex worker means that LOOONG before I feed Monkey with these knockers, they put food in my mouth.
I also breastfeed my older three, about 4 million years ago when I was a teen.
This means, that despite my plastic surgeons best work, I have Big Saggy Boobs. Mommy boobs.
I have two sets of bras. The mommy bras that keep things from bouncing too much, the white ones are not so white any more and the darks ones, well, they are not happy either. Let’s just say they have not led the hand wash, line dry life they would have liked.
Then there are the Work Bras. These are the ones from Fredricks of Hollywood that are modern engineering marvels. They lift, they do their best to separate and they give their all to make sure I can’t see my feet.
My body is a temple. It’s not the quiet, reverent kind of temple, more the loud gospel singing (with perhaps a side of cult) temple. I eat well, in both senses of the word. I eat organic, whole grain, real food. Sometimes even out of my own garden. Occasionally I treat it to a massive bowl of hot buttered popcorn and a Manhattan. Sometimes a little red wine. I do actually eat an apple a day and really do think it keeps the Dr away. (Although, mostly because I hate going to the Dr.) I try to exercise. Occasionally. Wii Mario Cart racing is exercise right!? I take my vitamins (and now my wheat grass and royal jelly) and I try to occasionally get a massage or pedicure or a haircut. So yes, I take care of it.
A post on Scary Mommy last week made me start thinking. If those people disrespect their body to the point to resembling the characters in Wall-E, why can’t I do with my body what I want?
Did you abstain from Mistress business while breastfeeding? Just curious, as I know men who adore lactating females… Xo Danielle
No. I didn’t even abstain while pregnant. I did sessions until I was 37 weeks pregnant. And then I only stopped because I was TOO LARGE TO MOVE. (Unless there was food involved. Then I was as quick and limber as a cat.) Clients were still trying to book with me. My clients don’t get to see my breasts, only, my cleavage, which is hyped up on Fredrick’s of Hollywood Cleavage Makers Bras, so I’m sure they had no idea if I was breastfeeding or not.
Finally. The moment none of you have been waiting for. Pictures from this years Las Vegas Porno and Sleazefest. Please excuse image quality because photos were taken with iPhone in one hand, cocktail in the other. If they were taken at all.
I have three porn filled care packages to give away. To enter, leave a comment. To enter again, re-tweet. To enter a third time, Like my facebook profile down there on the left. (No, a little further to the left.) and let me know you did that as an entry in your comment. And to enter a Fourth Mother Fucking Time… ask me a question in the formspring box, also on the left. Make sure you note that the question should be considered an entry. Other wise, I’ll just assume you are curious. If you want to enter, but you don’t want no body knowing your business, no need to leave a real name, but DO leave a real email address where I can get a hold of you!