Tag Archives: BlogHer
One of the mini break out panel that I attended was a round table discussion lead by A. V. Flox about Sex and Erotica Writing. After a fun conversation, we were were given the prompt of “She walked into a darkened room…” and a few minutes to write. I was a bit terrified as I’m usually the kind of writer that needs a moment to look at my inbox, and read some blogs, and maybe do some on-line shopping before I finally write out a post that has been bouncing around in my brain the previous couple of days.
This could also be why it can be so hard for me to get a post a day up because generally somewhere between looking at my inbox and Amazon, I’m interrupted and that post never gets out.
This is cut and paste from my iPad. Not bad! I hope others in the group also post theirs!
Or. As most women refer to it; BlogHer.
My heart is full of love.
My brain is full of information.
My iPhone is full of newfound apps. (ZOMG you guys. Gifture. Get it! Drink! Use it!! So fun.)
My swag bag is full of vibrators and porn.
Yeah. I’m not sure how I managed that either. I ran into someone in the elevator who looked down her nose at me (a VERY rare occurrence at BlogHer) lugging my two suitcases out and said to her friend, “Well, I guess I did a good job of packing.”
I wanted to inform her that one suitcase was full of vibrators and the other shoes and that I’m pretty sure I won any kind of elevator show down she was trying to have, but the lack of REM sleep for the previous 4 nights had rendered me speechless.
So yes, I will be giving away some vibrators soon. I will be keeping the porn. I also found from pro-xeed plus in the swag exchange that I grabbed for anyone who thinks that would benefit them.
The first month I was working in the fetish house, I had a client who was so terrified he could barely get the words out. I knew he wanted a spanking from the note next to his booking information, but none of the words that were coming out of his mouth seemed to resemble that word.
“I just, I don’t know…. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time and, oh god what am I doing here? What must you think of me? It’s just such a horrible thing, I’m not sure what to do…. I just think about it all the time… I should just go.”
His mouth was so dry each word seemed to contain extra syllables. The moisture that should have been in his mouth? Dripping from both pits and creating a slick across his palms. I’m not sure he could have turned the door knob had he tried to leave.
Before you go thinking BlogHer is all about shoes and swag and Rug Buttholes… I wanted to point out that there were also Flashmobs.
View more videos at: http://www.nbcsandiego.com.
Seriously. That’s all I can say. I don’t think, even with all the reading about BlogHer, that I realized what a truly amazing event it would be.
Girl. Muther Fucking. Power.
And for those of you who are read that and picture a bunch of unshaven hippie chicks eating granola and hugging each other while talking men down, I’m going to repaint that picture for you. Sit down. It may sting a bit at first.
3600 woman. 4 cautious looking men. We came from all backgrounds. ALL backgrounds. I hear there was even a dominatrix amongst our midst.
Or so I was told.
Boy was THAT woman surprised when I handed her my business card.
There were bloggers who blog about green lifestyles and crafts and fashion and infertility and travel and food and politics and health issues and handicaps and handicapables religion and and sports and coupons and buisiness and technology and music and fiction and humor and, occasionally, their family.
I’m a Dominatrix. I train people for a living. I train them to do the most insane unprobable things. And you know what? They do them. Pain? Hypnosis? Coercion? Enticement. I can sum up my subject in a few well placed questions and invoke the proper technique.
* to always wear a certain item when visiting me
* to NEVER wear a certain item with visiting me
* To avoid eye contact
* to only approach me from the left
* to fetishize boots/shoes/heels etc
* enjoy incredibly tight painful nipple clamps
* not to cum unless given permission
* not to cum without feeling guilty and giving me presents *heart*
I was a madwoman when training my dog. Sit. Stay. Be so fucking cute I may die. He does it all. On command.
The Big Fucking Negative was connected to the trip to Disney which wasn’t even unpacked when we left for Portland which has yet to be unpacked so I can once again pack my bags to head to BlogHer. And my in-laws arrive tomorrow for their yearly visit. They are sort of like a touring production of The Honeymooners. Except, with less love and affection.
Even though I gave them the dates I would be gone months ago, they still booked their trip right over my trip. How lucky could a girl be?! And I know you may be thinking to yourself, “Wow. I guess they really didn’t want to see her.” And to that I reply…
HOW LUCKY COULD A GIRL GET!?
They have invited me to cook them dinner before I leave. I’m thinking of cooking up my famous pasta with arsenic sauce.
So, who’s going to BlogHer? If you see me dozing in the corner – can you wake me? And when I look at you with my crazy confused eyes, just say “San Diego. You are in San Diego.”