The House the Porno Built
Years ago, when my older sons were visiting, we got up in the morning to find that someone who didn’t know how to clear his cache had spend much of the night googling ‘girls in bicinis’ and ‘high school girls in underwere.’ We think it was the 12 year old. The 14 year olds tastes were a little more racy although his spelling was no better.
Being the mother of boys, it’s inevitable. You will find something on the family computer that they have been spending ‘personal time’ on and want to stab yourself in the eye with a folk.
It makes one yearn for a simpler time. Like back when I was a kid and we found porn in a field and hid it under a bridge far from our parents innocent eyes.
True story.
As kids I didn’t really question it. Porn Grows In The Weeds of Vacant Fields. Got it. Actually, I was pretty sure that it had been the property of the high school boy who lived in the house nearest the field, but I really just tried to focus on the joy of possession rather then ponder it’s origin. It was slightly weathered and the back cover was bleached from the sun. Some pages were… stiff.
But it was porno. And it was mine.
Actually it was ours.
It was the group property of the five kids that lived in the area closest to me. Over time, it was also shared with pretty much every kid within a several mile radius.
In order that everyone who have free and easy access to this treasure, and to guarantee that someone’s parents wouldn’t confiscate it, we kept it rolled up and shoved in a shoe box which was kept under a bridge about half a mile from my house. We had always hung out under the bridge. It was central to the group, had a place where you could park your bike off the road, and was always the best place to catch tadpoles in the summer.
Once we had this center piece, the hearth of our home if you will, we started bringing other comfort items under the bridge. A worn blanket, a random found pillow (it is indeed a wonder we didn’t die from the pox), a box of graham crackers that first swelled from the moisture and then was quickly destroyed by local wildlife of unknown origin. Over time, he shoe box also contained a couple of Playboys and a Playgirl we found in the bedroom of my girlfriends parents. At the time we thought we were pilfering from her mother and looked at her with new eyes. Now I know we were actually ruining her fathers evening, not to mention making his relationship with his wife rather strained as I’m sure he thought he had been busted for his gender curious ways.
“Hi honey. So um. How … was your day? “
“Fine.
Have I mentioned how much I love you? How sexy I think you are?
What is wrong with you??”
The bridge hide-a-way became the premiere after school destination of choice. We would show up with backpacks full of snacks and homework, hang out, look at some porn, catch some tadpoles and then ride our bikes home.
…to masturbate feverishly in the privacy of our own bedrooms.
For those of you old enough to have had to search out porn on your own, when and where did you first find it? For those of you young enough to have grown up with free and easy access to porno on the internet, you have no idea how easy you have it. Nor what a fun social experience you missed out on. I guess this is also why, as much as I love the kindle and all it’s counterpart, I like to have the actual book in my hand.
