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Tumbleweeds in the Mens room.

Tumbleweeds in the Mens room.

Or. As most women refer to it; BlogHer.

My heart is full of love.

My brain is full of information.

My iPhone is full of newfound apps. (ZOMG you guys. Gifture. Get it! Drink! Use it!! So fun.)

My swag bag is full of vibrators and porn.

Yeah. I’m not sure how I managed that either. I ran into someone in the elevator who looked down her nose at me  (a VERY rare occurrence at BlogHer) lugging my two suitcases out and said to her friend, “Well, I guess I did a good job of packing.”

I wanted to inform her that one suitcase was full of vibrators and the other shoes and that I’m pretty sure I won any kind of elevator show down she was trying to have, but the lack of REM sleep for the previous 4 nights had rendered me speechless.

So yes, I will be giving away some vibrators soon. I will be keeping the porn. I also found from pro-xeed plus in the swag exchange that I grabbed for anyone who thinks that would benefit them.

I will also be announcing details on my upcoming book that you all are going to help me write to battle the news media’s idea that Fifty Shades of Grey has causes some kind of women’s sexual awakening.

And, I’m going to introduce you guys to the most amazing roommates a girl could ever ask for. Seriously. Who that that 6 girls pretty much randomly thrown in a room together bound by one goal; SAVE MONEY ON HOTEL, could become such amazing friends in just a couple days?

But first. Sleep. And sniff Monkey until I can’t sniff him no more. And… sometime soon… very soon… do naughty things to my Mr.


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8 Comments

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8 comments
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kissmykitty
kissmykitty like.author.displayName 1 Like

I'm so sorry I didn't get a chance to meet you! (Jenn from EF) And sorry that the elevator lady was a snob. Ugh. In my opinion, just TWO suitcases is pretty damn awesome. I came by train from PA and I went home with a giant hot pink suitcase that is half as tall and half as heavy as I am, a fully packed laptop messenger bag, and an exploding-at-the-seams BlogHer tote bag. So there, snotty elevator lady.

LittleAnimation
LittleAnimation like.author.displayName 1 Like

Adding the bit that livefyre cut out:

 

I'm glad we had a chance to talk for real, as opposed to Hi-here's-my-card-Bye.

DeadCowGirl
DeadCowGirl moderator

 @LittleAnimation omg - I know. I have a huge stack of cards and now can't figure out which ones were the ones that were people I enjoyed talking to, and the ones that were just thrust at me. :-(  I loved watching you draw and will post some penis people for you soon. :-)

Latest blog post: Moving Forward

LittleAnimation
LittleAnimation like.author.displayName 1 Like

Tumbleweeds in the men's room I love it! Cool blog bro. Gonna hafta stalk you right back =]

DeadCowGirl
DeadCowGirl moderator

 @LittleAnimation Actually, once there was a real man. Holding his penis. And peeing. He could not convince me that I had the wrong bathroom as I was in the one with an empty seat.

Latest blog post: Moving Forward

Jenn
Jenn like.author.displayName 1 Like

I am so glad I finally got to meet you and your amazing boobies! lol  I'd love to call dibs on that preseed. Will it help if I promise to mention it in future guest posts about Crippled Sex? :P 

DeadCowGirl
DeadCowGirl moderator

Hahaha! Mah boobies liked meeting you too!  It's actually proXeed+. I'm not sure what that is, but supposed to make sperm jump tall building in a single bound. Email me your mailing address.

Latest blog post: Moving Forward