It’s Time

I have tried many fine antidepressants, and Pristiq and I are BFFs 4EVAR. That said, Wellbutrin was my second-favorite, I think. Largely because UNLIKE the others it didn't flatten my sex-drive (and make it, uh, impossible to *find my own private Idaho* at all, which I consider an unacceptable blow to my quality of life) or make me fat. I had to quit it, though, because if you're at all prone to anxiety it MAY tend to ramp that up some (also if you're prone to being the belligerent sort I hear it can exacerbate that as well, but I am a shrinking violet). In my case at the time I was practically crippled with anxiety and so it was a no-go after a few weeks of increasing troubles in that regard. The only other warning I can think of with Wellbutrin is that it lowers your seizure threshold, which unless you have epilepsy or something isn't a big deal, but maybe don't test the VERY upper limits of your alcohol tolerance or ignore a high fever while you're on the stuff. xox

Good for you having or almost having that conversation with your MD, so many people don't. I'm a psychiatric nurse practioner. The 3 top ones I prescribe for depression are: celexa, Effexor, and Wellbutrin. They seem the least likely to make you fat or kill your sex drive. Make sure you ask for an increase in your dose if you aren't feeling better after 3 months. Primary care docs are great at starting meds but don't always titrate them as they should. Good luck, email me with any questions.

Lexapro works well but no orgasm, try as you might.

Recently switched to Viibryd.  Lovely orgasm.

How can I help?  Always here my friend.

I haven't read all the comments on this, so I'm sure I'm just stating the obvious, but anyway: Good for your for admitting it.  I'm sorry you're going through this.  Let me know if you want to chat.  You've got my support.  

Realizing it is the first step. And honestly, I think it's the biggest step. Good for you for stepping up, and good luck! I recommend that when you first begin taking antidepressants, that you also see a therapist. It's more common in younger people, but starting antidepressant therapy can actually make you experience suicidal urges. I did. It was like, "Hey, now I feel less numb -- so now I realize just how crappy I've been feeling all along. Fuck this shit. I'm outta here."

I knew I needed antidepressants after my second suicide attempt (yeah, I'm not exactly the brightest crayon in the box for it to take twice). But what actually got me to take them (years later) was the promise that they'd help relieve my OCD as well. I took a massive daily dose of Prozac for almost four years. It helped so much that people who know me could tell if I hadn't been taking it. It also ended up alleviating a lot of my PTSD symptoms. I loved that drug. I had to stop taking it for pregnancy and breastfeeding. I started taking it again after I accepted the lactation failure. But because I always found it highly sedating, I'm off it again. I can't keep up with a kid who wakes up four times a night and barely naps when I'm on it.

You know, it takes a lot to get those words out. But honestly, it will give you SO much of your life back, you'll look back and be amazed at how much of a difference there is.

I take Wellbuturin along with therapy (which, honestly, has been REALLY important for me), and it's really made a difference. I like that it doesn't affect sex drive, and that there aren't many side effects. It IS, however, a stimulant, so some people have problems with sleeping. The first couple of days I took it I was a jittery mess, but that calmed down after a while. Also, some people lose weight on it (which I didn't DARN IT). But seriously, I noticed a difference within days, and I am soooo glad I did.

I will say that some lifestyle changes help too: exercise, sunlight, reduce caffeine. But the drugs, they were a HUGE part.

Good luck, and just remember that it's not always a straight line to feeling better, but taking those steps will get you on the right path. (OMG that sounds so corny, but it's true).

GOOD LUCK!

@DeadCowGirl if you take something but don't talk about it, it can only help so much. I took le.xapro a while ago & still talk to my shrink.

@DeadCowGirl I believe this is a huge step, if you feel off, you feel off & I'm happy you're addressing it. Thinking abt doing talk therapy?

@DeadCowGirl I'm proud & glad that you've decided you need some extra help and that you're taking the steps to get it.

I went on antidepressants (Zo.loft specifically) after my 3rd IVF failed.  With that BFN I was in a lot of pain - emotional and physical.  I remember desperately trying to massage my scalp to try to get my head muscles to relax - and they just wouldn't.  I guess I'd seen the ads saying that physical pain was a part of depression, but I'd never taken it literally before.  Anyway, I was a mess - there was just too much loss and pain for me to cope with on my own.  The pills helped me hugely.  I think time and emotional work is part of the healing, but sometimes you just need the drugs to help you get to a place where healing is even possible.  Otherwise, just a jar not opening, a glass spilling on the floor, or temporary bad cell reception make your head want to explode and you have no energy for anything else.

The Zol.oft worked great for me, personally.  I had been really reluctant to use drugs during tough times before, mostly because my mom was behind the times and was one of those drugged-out housewives after that trend had passed.  I was worried about feeling groggy, not "myself", or being out of it.  I didn't really feel any different.  This is how I'd describe its effect on me:  situations would still come up around IF that were painful or upsetting, but instead of there being an immediate physical "pang" in my chest , there was a little delay.  I could acknowledge in my head that it was a painful situation or comment, and I had a little time to figure out how I wanted to respond or take care of myself.  It worked kind of like a buffer or extra skin for me.

The only side effect - and this might be a problem with your work (or not) was that my sex drive was affected.  It made me uncomfortable to notice that change, but at that point it was kind of a no-brainer sacrifice.  When I went off it, I tapered down really gradually.  I think going off it might have made it tougher to sleep for a bit, but that's about all.  

I'm so sorry you're struggling - and I know how it is to feel confused or guilty about being down when you still have so much to be thankful for.  I hope things get better soon!

i'm so sorry you're not feeling like yourself, but I'm glad you'll be talking to your doctor soon to try and get some help. I started taking Effexor mm, 4? 5? years ago - partially IF related, partially just general anxiety, and it's made such a difference. I hope you have the same experience & can find something that works for you. Take care..

 @DeadCowGirl I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. I take antidepressants. I'm on Celexa and Wellbutrin. I've been on Celexa for years (I have OCD and it managed it well for years). I was recently put on Wellbutrin because of infertility-related depression and anxiety. I decided I needed some more help after spending three days in bed either crying or staring at the wall after my fifth failed round of Clomid, Adding the Wellbutrin has helped a lot, and it has very few side effects. Celexa, on the other hand, can cause problems with orgasms. That is the only negative side effect I've had from Celexa - but it's a pretty dang bad one! 

@DeadCowGirl I've been on the crazy pills before. DM me if you want details.

@DeadCowGirl I know this feeling all too well. Hugs. And, yes, it's because people are idiots.

@DeadCowGirl *hugs*

@DeadCowGirl ((hugs)) So sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I'm kinda in the same spot. God damn IF.