This is a guest post from Lynn Lacroix. This is the first of two parts. If you would like to be part of my The Other Women series and write about your sexual identity, contact me! Your story can be silly, sexy or sad. There is no normal and all points of view are invited to join.
I’m pretty much your typical suburban wife. I’m the woman you wave to in church every Sunday and the woman you meet in the grocery store wearing sweats and trying to find the best deals on groceries. But I have another side. It’s a side that VERY few people know about. I’m a submissive.
Let me give you some background. I was raised in a great family. I had a great childhood. I was a good church-going, white bread American girl. I lost my virginity the first time I ever got drunk at age 18. That opened up a whole new side of my personality. I found out how much I love sex. I wanted more. I immediately realized that I fell into the submissive category. BDSM porn was the only kind that ever turned me on, and I only really wanted to be with men who had a dominant air about them. My first BDSM experience was with a friend that I went to college with. He was a natural dominant and my natural submissiveness brought that out in him. We only ever had intercourse once, the rest of the time we just messed around. He spanked me, would tease me with his fingers and tongue until I was begging for him to stop, and I would please him by doing exactly as he told me. Even though we only had actual sex once, my time with him was the most erotic experience I ever had before I met my husband.
I married the first and only man who has ever given me an orgasm. He is the only man who can hold my attention intellectually as well as in the bedroom. He doesn’t share my kinky side, but he indulges me when I ask. To make up for some of that part of myself that I feel like I’m lacking I write erotica. Specifically, BDSM erotica. Despite this side of me, I really am an average woman and I think there are a lot more like me.
The First Night
By Lynn Lacroix
I am nervously waiting at the bar of the hotel where we agreed to meet. I am wearing a black, slinky dress with nothing underneath and patent leather pumps; just as he instructed me. Thank god my boobs haven’t started to sag yet and I can get away without wearing a bra unless it is really cold. I look younger than my 31 years. I am thin, but have naturally full hips and breasts. My hair is straight and brown. My eyes are hazel. I have a very clear complexion and rarely wear makeup (tonight being an exception). I nervously sip my cosmo, stare at the clock, and start to wonder if he is really coming.
Let me take you back a few weeks. I got a little tipsy one night and did something I’ve always wanted to. I put a profile on an adult website. I filled out the basics. Name: Olivia (I don’t know why I used my real name), Age: 31, Relationship Status: single, etc. I post a picture of myself from my vacation in the Bahamas three months ago. I am wearing a bikini in it that leaves very little to the imagination. Then I get to the About Me section. I’m not really sure what to put, so I write: “I think I’m submissive.” That’s it. Just those four little words.
Over the next couple of days I get a few messages, but one sticks out. It is from a man named Grant. All his message says is that I sound like I’m trying to find my true self and gives me a telephone number to call. It takes me a full day of doubting and nail-biting to pick up the phone and make the call.
“Hello?” says a deep, obviously male voice.
“Um. Hi. Is this Grant?” I ask.
“Yes. What can I do for you?”
“This is Olivia.” I say.
“Oh. Hello Olivia. In that case you will from here on out refer to me as Sir. Do you understand?”
“Yes. Um. I mean, yes Sir.”
We start out talking about me, my life, and my previous sexual experiences. Grant asks a lot of questions. Some are really hard to answer. Then the conversation turns to him. Grant is 35, works as an architect, and loves to play basketball on the weekends. I learn that Grant is an experienced Dom. He has had many casual BDSM encounters and a few D/s relationships. He is looking for the right submissive for a long term relationship. He says that he is intrigued by my lack of experience, that he loves training new submissives.
Grant asks me to send him porn images that I like. I do. The usual stuff, a woman tied up and blindfolded, another of a woman tied down and being fucked by a man with bulging muscles. Once I send him those images he begins to tell me stories. He tells me stories of encounters he has had with various women. Then he starts telling me in great detail what he wants to do with me. The rough but eager sound of his voice coupled with the things that he is saying makes me want to pull out my vibrator while we are still on the phone, but Grant tells me that I am not to masturbate unless he instructs me too.
We carry on like this for a week and a half before we agree to meet at a posh hotel in the city. He tells me what to wear, what time to be there, and where to wait for him. He is very specific and makes it very clear that there will be consequences if I don’t follow his orders to the letter.
Stay tuned for part two on Monday…