I’m driving back from The Hills and Monkey is passed out in the back seat. I. Am. Starving. I have to pee. I really need someone to start a chain of drive-thru restaurants where they serve fresh organic foods that you can eat in the car. They can be burgers, burritos, sandwiches, I don’t care. I don’t even care if they are fast. I’ll wait in the parking lot for a couple minutes. I am totally willing to pay a premium for real food served on the go.
But you know what they REALLY need to offer? Someone to stand watch over your sleeping toddler while you run in and pee. Seriously. I will lock my car with the windows cracked. They wouldn’t even need to speak to my child. They wouldn’t even have to interact at all. All they would need to do is tell the people passing by, staring into my car, calling child protective services and judging me for leaving my child unattended, that his Mom is in the bathroom taking a life altering pee.
Because this service does not exist, I nearly died. From starvation. From a burst bladder.
I asked the Prius (yes, I can talk to my car. It’s not nearly as cool as you think) to show me fast food icons hoping an In and Out would be somewhere in my near future. It was not. In fact, there was pretty much nothing with a drive thru for about an hour. I start eye balling Monkey’s cup of half chewed goldfish. I drink more water to fill my growling stomach. I think about waking him to grab something from the grocery, but know that it will be a REALLY long trip with him awake in the backseat.
He is a very vocal back seat driver.
Finally, an oasis of fast food restaurants. I choose my poison. Literaly. It’s Carl’s Jr. It’s supposed to be Angus beef. I’m pretty sure it’s soylent green, partly because of the taste, partly because of the strange grey color. Seriously. Who thinks this is what food is supposed to take like? Have they ever seen an actual hamburger patty? Thankfully it has blue cheese and fried onions on it, so… it’ll do. I know. I’m a Princess. A Princess who likes grass fed beef.
I think it's trying to tell me something....
I also chalk this up to stress eating and ask for an order of onion rings. This is the second onion ring I pulled out of the bag.
*sigh*
I ate it anyway.
And most of the burger.
Then in an attempt to hide my shameful outing, I asked the Prius’s guidance system to hide all icons. Apparently I was having a hard time talking with my mouth full of grease and soylent green because it replied…
Now showing health and fitness icons.
And yes. Eventually he woke and I was able to pee. However, I have not been able to forgive my smart ass Prius.
Yeah. My wii has called me fat more then once ... fucker.
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