50% off another Monkey

I’m trying not to obsess. I really am. I’m trying SO HARD not to run to the nearest Target rip a box of pregnancy tests off the shelf and pee on them right there in the aisle. Partly because I really like shopping at the Target and I don’t think they would let me back after that, and partly because I know it’s too early at 4dp6dt to get a result.

I’m trying really hard not to obsess over every little symptom. Are those implantation cramps or am I just constipated? Is Monkey’s poop just a little bit more gag inducing today? Or am I getting a little sensitive to smells? Is that the progesterone causing this nausea? Did I have this much nausea during my last two week wait? WHY AM I SO HORNEY? Is it just because I am on doctor ordered pelvic rest, or is it because there is more blood flow to my Lady City. (Thank you @DresdenPlaid for the most awesome new name for my girlie parts ever!) And if it’s just from being told I can’t have sex, wouldn’t co-sleeping also make me incredibly horny because Hello?! There is 28 adorable pounds of razor sharp toenails and kung fu jabbing elbows between myself and my Mr every night. It’s the progesterone isn’t it.

So between the debating on whether or not these progesterone suppositories are stronger then the ones I used last cycle and what I was feeling on this day on the cycles in which I get pregnant and the cycles in which I didn’t and obsessively googling things when I should be sleeping, I decided that today, while Monkey was in school, I would sit at my favorite french coffee shop and have a nice breakfast and clean out my inbox and distract myself with some answering of email and this is what I find.

Thanks a lot universe. I hate you a lot right now.