Attack of the Clusterfucks!
Today I received both a note from my Dr that my HCG is undetectable aaaand … a note from Enfamil congratulating me on my little one reaching it’s first birthday. Thanks assholes. I hadn’t even remembered that my former due date was coming up.
Next month is, if my body co-oporates, going to be our final transfer. I know I’ve said this before, but really and truly, this time is it. Next month I will also turn 43 and there is no way we can afford donor eggs. We will be happy with our Monkey and I will find something new to obsess over.
Like making the marketing people at Enfamil miserable.
Because this last cycle was so weird, I went ahead and bought some cheapie OPK and have been using them the last couple mornings to see if my body has started ovulating again. I should have started on Christmas Eve, but forgot, then Christmas was an exhausting clusterfuck of crazy, so I didn’t use one until the 26th. That should have been the day before I actually expected to ovulate and the line was super dark, but not as dark as the control line. The next day was also dark, but not as dark as the control line. Today the line was really light.
What does this mean? I’m the only infertile I know who is not familiar with OPKs. I used them for the first time last cycle and splurged on the pricey kind with the smily face. Did I ovulate? Did I almost ovulate? Did I ovulate the day before I started testing? Obviously next month I will once again splurge on the smiley face sticks.I will also steer away from the clusterfuck of crazy and pee on sticks on time.
I liked the cheap ones, but I tested at least twice a day and usually more often. Sometimes I swear it was like, "I have to pee. Is it because I'm ovulating? Better check!" :)
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