What if The Dirty Talk your SO is looking to hear is not just the standard naughty verb + body part = Heelloooo Nurse! fare? Humiliation is hugely diverse area ranging from the subtly erotic to the physical or public with long stops in race and religion. But where to begin?
Because this is such a mental game, knowing your partners subtle queues are of paramount importance. It’s fine line between getting your partner off in a massive fashion and having a rather tense morning-after breakfast. I would suggest discussing limits and interests before hand and using a safe word. Or you can take baby steps – adding little things each time you play. Also, make sure any emotional scaring is well known. Don’t threaten to rape a rape survivor, or accidentally call someone the same pet name (bitch, cunt, cum guzzler) that a former lover or abuser called them.
Communication is key – talk afterwards about what each of you thought was hot… and what was not. And if something gave either of you any kind of a bad feeling, always discuss why… and whether or not that subject needs to be removed from the topic of bedtime conversation, or simply explored some more. It’s all about creating a safe trusting place to open up and let those inner demons and imps out to play.
Contrary to the dark and scary image the word humiliation conjures up, it can be a fun playful game. Humiliation scenes in the dungeon are usually the ones that have the most giggling involved.
Think of if as flirting … with a little bite.
Have you ever erotically humiliated someone? Or have you ever been erotically humiliated? Is there a name you like to be called in the bedroom, but you would deck any mother fucker who called you that same name on the street? Or do you keep your humiliation to the self inflicted “why didn’t anyone tell me I had food in my cleavage” variety?