How I learned to quit worrying and love the rabbit
The small town I grew up in had everything. A couple of stop lights, a big chain grocery store, a bunch of bars, even more churches, a couple of head shops and a continuation high school that I didn’t actually go to, but dated everyone who did. What it didn’t have was a sex shop. At least, none that I knew about. I’m sure there was someplace, probably in the back of one of the Quickie Marts that, if you knew the right people, you could get… something, but it certainly wasn’t well known. And trust me. If anyone was going to know about this stuff, it was me.
When I moved to the big city to finish my bachelors, among farewells from my friends like “Lawd girl, that city’s gonna eat you alive,” the first thing I did upon arriving was take my pell grant to the local sex shop and buy a rabbit vibrator. Yes. Your tax dollars help fund my orgasms for that school year. They were mighty. They were often. One time they were in the bathroom when my house was full of freinds getting ready to go out to the clubs for the night.
Man all mighty I loved that thing.
It cost $99. Plus tax. My rent at the time was $260 a month. Including utilities. My income at the time was questionable and sporadic. That’s how much I wanted that rabbit vibrator. I think this is it. 20 years later it retails for 26 bucks. Although, now I would get something a little fancier. Like this gold one. Or this one that has a flower on it. And a butterfly. Or this one that has beads that GO BOTH WAYS AT THE SAME TIME!
The rabbit vibrator has come a long way in the last twenty years. And one of those directions is, like all things phallic, artsy. There are a whole selection of luxury vibrators now that look like modern art. Some of them are so surreal that, should airline security find them in your bag? They would have no idea what they were looking at. They are rechargeable and made of Food-grade material / Hypo-allergenic / Latex free / Non-porous / Phthalates free… Nothing like the porous, oil covered plastic of unknown origin that we used to love and adore.
OMFG. Did I just “uphill both ways, in the snow” on what was supposed to be a sexy post? <head down on desk>
So, when I decided to do reviews for Eden Fantasys, I figured that I would finally try one of those artsy vibrators. After looking at all of the fancy cubist rabbits, I went with Lelo’s Ina. It arrived in a big fancy box – near Apple style of packaging. Next arrived…. the contractor who was here every day for a week so I couldn’t have any alone time at nap time. And a broken toddler who wouldn’t go to bed. Then a sick me who didn’t care if I lived or died, let alone masturbated.
Then finally! Mommy and Daddy time! I busted out my fun new green toy and went prancing out to the couch in my yoga pants and tshirt. (Sexy! I know!) I start putting on a show for the Mr and I look up at him and he is just staring at my goods. With the Ina inside me.
Quizzically.
Just under the length of three hot wheels. Just over the girth of one. A lot less painful to step on.
Make that sound of an erection fizzing and that little motion with your finger. Go ahead. I’ll wait. If anyone looks at you funny, just tell them that Mistress told you to.
So, the NEXT time I had alone time I was finally able to check out the Ina. First thoughts, aside from ooooh, yer soo pretty… was that it was a very hard material. I’m not one for glass or wood dildo’s, so that was sort of a turn off for me. I was also disappointed that the little rabbit head was built too close to the shaft, so it gives too firm of a grip on my clit for my taste. If they would make the rabbit a little more flexible, I think it would fit more peoples body types. The vibration was powerful and the different modes are delightful. I did experiment and if you use it backwards, it is great as a double penetration toy. It’s definitely a fun toy, but it’s not what I expected. I don’t think it’s headed for the bottom of the toy box, but it’s definitely not going to stay at the top.
Over all I would say I was disappointed.It’s like the cute boy you fantasize about from a distance forever, then you finally talk to him, and all he can talk about is his car. And while I think his car is really cool, I would like to talk about other things. Like my clit.
EdenFantasys kindly provided me with this Lelo Ina to review. I will occasionally do reviews (unless this one causes them to fail to return my emails in the future.) Please let me know if there is anything you are interested in and I’ll see if I can take it for a test run and let you know the real ins and outs… so to speak.
[...] I first decided to review sex toys for Eden Fantasys, I of course headed straight to The Rabbits. What girl doesn’t love a rabbit? Once, in front of my mom, sister, my husband cracked a joke [...]