Here we go again. Operation: have a baby.
Although. I’m sorta leaning towards renaming it “Operation Put A Reproductive Endocrinologist’s Kids Through College Because I Can’t Fucking Let Go Of The Idea Of Having Another Baby.”
Or maybe “Oh lookie – we have an extra 3 grand and I have nothing to obsess about so lets see what the local RE is doing next week.”
or… “Fuck. Let’s just get this over with?”
A part of me is thinking that, Fuck Yeah! This is it! This time it will work. This time I’ll get pregnant. It’ll be fine. But the other part, the MUCH bigger part is wondering how it could ever work.
Five 5 and 6 day blasts. We didn’t get that when I was 39 during our first cycle. I should feel like this would give us a great chance at concieving. But instead, I’m pretty sure that whenI show up to the transfer next Saturday, they will realize they have the wrong person.
Seriously, I have reoccurring nightmare (daymare?) that when they defrost them, they will just melt into the petri cup and disappear.
Because seriously? What 42 year old is actually lucky enough to get five great quality five and six day frozen blastoysts? And then actually get pregnant? And not miscarry? Or have some other issue? Seriously?
The details: We are transferring two blasts this coming Saturday, and if that doesn’t work, we are transferring the remaining three the end of October. If that doesn’t work we are calling it quits. Beta for this round is October 3rd. I’m sure I will POAS before then.