Sit. Stay. Replace the FREAKING toilet paper!

Dripping Dry Again

Dripping Dry Again

I’m a Dominatrix. I train people for a living. I train them to do the most insane unprobable things. And you know what? They do them. Pain? Hypnosis? Coercion? Enticement. I can sum up my subject in a few well placed questions and invoke the proper technique.

* to always wear a certain item when visiting me
* to NEVER wear a certain item with visiting me
* To avoid eye contact
* to only approach me from the left
* to fetishize boots/shoes/heels etc
* enjoy incredibly tight painful nipple clamps
* not to cum unless given permission
* not to cum without feeling guilty and giving me presents *heart*

I was a madwoman when training my dog. Sit. Stay. Be so fucking cute I may die. He does it all. On command.

However. The Mr? I can not train my husband to replace the toilet paper roll. Seriously. If I had a nickel for every time I ran into pee between peeling Monkey off the kitchen counter and pulling him out of the dryer, only to find the fine, feathery remainders of toilet paper clinging to the naked roll, I would have a mighty large shoe shopping dowry. He is so skilled in so many areas, it seems like he should be able to pick this skill as well. As I head off to BlogHer for the next couple days, my main concern is… how is he doing to access the toilet paper? Does he even know where it’s stored? Is he going to have to stop, mid poo, load up the toddler and head down to the store??

How do you train a husband to do this? Do they even have the appropriate equipment? I mean, do their thumbs not do that little thing that you need to do to pop the old roll out?

Please. I’m at a loss.


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6 Comments

Filed under Holy Matrimony Batman!, The Spanking Factory

6 comments
Roccie
Roccie

You know the weird thing? He always changes it. I never do. I can think of the times I have been stuck w out toilet paper.... like twice. And I was mad both times. I am a mega bitch. Leave some sandpaper.

Mistress Justine Cross
Mistress Justine Cross

When you know he is going to take a shit, leave one piece of toilet paper on the roll with a note that says, "Don't you wish you changed the roll of toilet paper? Have fun sweetie!"

dcg
dcg

I fear that would require me knowing more about his bowel habits then I'm comfortable with.

Jane
Jane

Nice Boobs :). You'd think that having lovely boobies and a juicy arse would be enough to make married men respond to command, but, apparently they aren't. I guess after sleeping with our farts and waking up with our dragon breath, they gain partial immunity to the supa-sexeh body. Ah, well. At least we still have our animals....

Neeroc
Neeroc

This. This subject drives me insane! I one time counted (on the inside of the roll) the number of times, IN A ROW I changed the roll. 19 Nineteen flamin' times and it ended there because I got sick of counting. And if he does 'change' it, it involves using a new roll and throwing it some where just out of my (shorter) arm's reach. Figure this out and we'll move on to putting dishes in the dishwasher.

MFA Mama
MFA Mama

I think that's like trying to get one of your clients to fly by flapping his arms. He may TRY, but it'll never happen :P