This morning, after about 4 minutes sleep, because someone has decided that sleep training is sooo last year and no longer wants to sleep at all, let alone all night and certainly not for more then 40 minutes at a time… I had a phone session.
Usually I wouldn’t do anything of the sort with the Monkey around, but because this was a regular client and really, all he wanted was for me to listen, and because when Cars is on the TV, Monkey is rendered speechless AND motionless, I agreed.
Because I have been having childcare issues (as everyone who follows me on Twitter got to hear about yesterday), it’s been hard for me to schedule sessions with some of my regulars, so one smart subbie figured out how to entertain me, as well as serve me, without me being all that involved. He booked a session with a male escort and let me listen in.
So yeah, today I got paid to watch Cars while I listened to two guys fuck. I was also? In my pajamas. Oh yes I was.
But it wasn’t that easy. It never is. They were supposed to call at 11am. About 2 minutes before I realized that I hadn’t even washed my face yet, and while getting paid to listen in to two guys go at it in my PJ’s is ok. Listening in while wearing PJ’s and having a dirty face… totally not cool.
So I prep the DVD and leave Monkey playing with his cars to sneak off and wash my face. I’m really, not even gone 30 seconds (it wasn’t the most thorough of face washings) and run back into the living room. Where I see Monkey has climbed on the kitchen counter. He is eating crackers out of the box. Smiling… and… crapping his pants.
On the kitchen counter.
I’m totally thinking this is NOT the situation my client is envisioning as he calls me to express his undying devotion as he gets his ass rammed In My Name.