I'm So Confused
As my mother calls her.
Got up this morning, and because we are in the middle of a heat wave, dug to the bottom of m drawer and grabbed a skirt I’ve not worn in a while. I have it half way on before I realize that it’s the one I wore home from Hawaii. The morning I miscarried. That morning I put it on and DaddyO and I marveled at how much I was starting to show already. We took it as a sign that everything was going well. I mean, other wise, why would I have a little belly popping up?
That night at the hospital we found out the reason for the belly was a subchorionic hematoma. It was the beginning of the miscarriage. Nothing was ok.
I thought about putting the skirt back and finding something else, but since Monkey was fussy and we were already running late, I figure this would be a good time to reclaim a favorite skirt, and we head off, emotions even closer to the surface then anticipated.
The RE asked a bunch of questions about my health and how I was feeling. More then my OB at my post mc check up. It made me feel better. Like someone in charge finally cared. (Worse timed change of insurance and Dr’s ever. It went into effect two days after the mc. I should have just paid out of pocket and seen my regular OB.)
She started in on the pro’s and cons of a fresh vs frozen cycle and I let her know we couldn’t afford another fresh cycle.
“Oh. Well, that makes that decision doesn’t it. We have great results with FET.”
We asked a bunch of questions. DaddyO was very involved. He wants me to feel better. Normal again. I asked her what the chances are that our FET would result in a baby and she sighed, leaned over and wrote a number on the peice of paper she had been using to diagram a FET for us. Then circled it.
10%
Hrm. Unless she forgot a “0″ this is not the “great results” I pictured. I’m tempted to ask what a poor result is, but move on.
She said she had to make a guess because at my advance age, (F*CK people, I’m only 41! The way she talks I feel like I should be looking into active living adult communities!) usually they would transfer at least two. So, that is the number left after you account for having only one embryo, and the miscarrige rate at my age.
Once again, I left in tears and DaddyO left feeling better. He pointed out that she was quoting rates for all IVF transfers in my age range. He thinks we have a better chance because as we all know, my uterus is a hospitipal place. At least it was when I was 15. Plus, we have the Marvolous Monkey. He wants me to relax and have faith that it will work.
So I’ve decided to do everything in my power to help it work.
I will plan something fo the begining of November that I can not do if I’m pregnant. Skydiving? Brewpub tour? Any ideas?
I’m also going to invest in some really nice jeans that fit really well. Surely that will ensure an immediate and significant weight change.
I’m also going to start doing sit ups every morning and using my weighted hoola hoop on a regular basis. Surely the smaller my waist at transfer, the greater likelyhood it will take.
Am I forgetting anything?
[...] about October 2nd, then… it’s the beginning of the end. So far, in an attempt to maximize my chance of success, I have continue with the daily hoola hooping, I have bought new jeans that fit perfectly, and will [...]