YoHo! was, as we all suspected it would be, a blast. Because really, a gathering of sex positive ladies in Disneyland, and, if they have them, their kids? What is not to love. I’m fairly certain more then one person walked away going did… I just over hear what I THINK I over heard in line for Small World?
Because speaking in code over the kids heads, doesn’t always mean it’s over the heads of the guy in line behind you.
It was a fairly small group of women (both those in the sex industry, and some who were just sex positive and wanting to socialize with others of like mind) which made it a super intimate group. We tended to take off two by two for different rides or attractions (MUCH easier to do Disneyland that way) which meant lots of time to get to know each other, then met for a little relaxing and watching the kids run wild, before splitting off again. We all got to see past each others press and get to know the real person behind the reputation. Read more...
Several years ago I had a client who would drive three hours each way to see me. It was always a big event for him. He would take the day off work and spend the night afterwards in a hotel down the street. Because of the distance he wasn’t able to see me as often as he liked, so we devised a system involving colorful rocks. Every time he would come to see me, I would give him one. He could take it home and place it on his dresser where he already had a photo of me, as well as other trinkets saved from our time together in a sort of alter.
Actually it was a full on alter and sweet and a touch disturbing all at once. Read more...
If you follow me on twitter (you all follow me on twitter, right?) you probably saw a lot of this fly by over the weekend, but I thought I would post a wrap up and give a shout out to a couple of my favorite things.
They are like Oprah’s favorite things, but generally with more strippers and booze. Which just so happens to be a couple of Portland’s favorite things, which is why we get along so splendidly.
And it’s not JUST a random stripper fest. This was a trip to celebrate our 15th anniversary, which we were told is the Crystal year. So, we had to go look for her. But we kept forgetting to ask their names. Which is pretty much means we just travelled around Portland breaking $20′s for $1′s and distributing them to all the pretty girls.
We did our best. I apologize if you did not get yours.
Or, if you got yours and you have no idea why some drunk chick stumbled up and stuck a dollar in your back pocket. That was why. She thought you were pretty. Read more...
The ability to think outside the box is the corner stone of professional domination.
I would meet with someone. Often someone I had never met. Through a series of phone calls, emails and an application, would have a good idea of their interests, hopes and goals for our time together. We would negotiate all the interests. We would negotiate all the limits. We would negotiate the roles.
When we would meet for the first time, usually at the door of my dungeon, I would take the lead and try to give them a memorable, amazing experience. How do you do that after negotiating all of these activities ad nauseam? By thinking outside of the box. By taking what they expect and twisting it.
Even kidnapping scenes can be pre negotiated, then made memorable and surprising by employing a friend to take them out from behind as they enter the dungeon while shoving a nail polish scented rag over their face. Tie them up and slowly paint their lips with cinnamon lip plumper and as it starts to burn and tingle, tell them that it is something that is going to wipe their memory clean so that you can create the perfect slave. Read more...
At What Point Should I Seek Treatment For My Addiction To Cheese?
I mean. Is it like alcoholism? Can I be a functioning cheeseaholic and think I’m ok, but I’m not? Do I wait until it’s effecting my life? Last night I had to go to bed because I used the above crisps as spoons to scoop warm brie out of the package until it made my stomach hurt.
Realistically it was almost bedtime anyway. So really. It wasn’t that much of a problem.
I ask this because just now, home alone, as I made a kale smoothie for lunch, I spied the last of these crisps and the sad remainder of brie haphazardly wrapped in plastic as I reached into the veggie drawer to grab my giant tub of super greens and a couple of carrots and stopped, reached up and, standing in the cool breeze of the open refrigerator enjoyed a few spoonfuls before moving on to make my healthy lunch. Read more...
Gender neutral parenting is all fun and games until you send you kid to school in his new shoes and spend the day worrying that he’s going to be bullied.
I talked to the teachers, and they embrace a gender neutral environment, but people? Other parents are ass holes. He’s already come home and proclaimed that ‘pink is for girls.’
This obviously did not change his love of the color. And people? These shoes are pink AND sparkly AND have princesses on them AND bows. He physically and audibly swooned when he saw them. He said they would help him ride faster on his new scooter.
Stay tuned. I’ll post this afternoon and let you know if he seems to have changed his mind or if there were any incidents. This isn’t the first time he’s worn pink shoes to school, but his pink rain boots that he loved into oblivion were not nearly as…. They didn’t make as much of a statement. Read more...
They said it couldn’t be done. And by they? I mean my husband. My mom. Most my friends. My neighbor. Pretty much everyone. In fact, no one said it could be done. Except my friend who buys everything on Etsy. I won’t tell you what she said, but I will tell you she was wrong.
It started as a joke. As a dare. As an impossibly stupid idea, but I was actually surprised at what I learned. I tried to stick to the spirit of the promise, which was to spend less on crap we really don’t need. Although, I will admit to taking an extra trip or two to Costco and the little home decor store near my house. I also tried to use the time to clean out the closets and purge the house of stuff we don’t need. Read more...
I am co-organizing a sexy meet-up in Disneyland with the (dis)honorable Queerie Bradshaw May 8th and 9th. This is a chance for sex workers, sex writers, sex educators and basically, any woman who considers herself part of the Glitterhood, to network, exchange ideas, stories and hugs over cocktails at Trader Sams, and turkey legs while standing in line for Space Mountain. Because really, what could make the happiest place on earth happier, then boobs and sex talk?
We aren’t trying to be in any ones face, nor, Mouse forbid, get kicked out, so we plan to keep everything (fairly) family friendly (to the untrained eye). Plus, many of us will be bringing our kids.
There will be plenty of scheduled meet ups, of every flavor, both inside the parks, as well as on Disney property outside the park where we can meet those who don’t want to invest in a ticket.